Here are some of the common questions that I’ve received over the years. Many of you have sent me personal emails. I hope your questions are answered here:
Q: I am currently dating this girl with XX sign and your description fits her perfectly. I am YY sign I was wondering if we are right for one another,
OR
Q: I am XX sign and he is YY sign. Can we be together?
A: It really depends on the both of you. For instance, my friend and her husband were born on the same day and they have been dating since they were 13 years old. Till today, they were very much in love. Both of them are sensitive in nature and get angry easily- they have quarrels and disagreements, but they have mutual understanding. So, it is essentially up to both of you to make it work. Often, when two people enter into a relationship, it involves lots of compromises, but the rewards are worth it to make those sacrificies. However, it takes two hands to clap- if you are involved with someone who has lots of past issues/baggage and refuse to compromise/get help, you may want to reconsider your decision to stick to the person.
Q: I am XX sign and what you have described me perfectly. However, there are things in myself that I do not really like- does it mean that I cannot change?
A: Of course you can. It’s good you have learned to identify the good and bad. Keep the good and aim to change the bad. For instance, if you have a strong jealousy nature and always feel insecured, you may want to work on building your self-confidence. Balance your life by discovering other hobbies outside of your relationship. Or if you have a strong pride and never wanted to admit wounded feelings, see a therapist or take up courses that focuses on open communication. Learn to take baby steps- you will get there.
Q: What you have described fit me perfectly a few years ago. But I am already no longer that person- I’ve learned to change and evolve to be a person that I want to be.
A: Congratulations! This is what I am hoping for. The change is sometimes difficult but it is not impossible. What we are and what we will become are not cast in stone or permanent- we can change it.
Q: I am in total opposite signs/incompatible with the other person but we get along fine and are like best of friends. It’s not like it is strained- it seemeds almost magical.
A: Hmm, correct me if I am wrong but sounds like that you have probably know this person for a short time. Most relationship (friendship or love relationship) starts with strong attraction, which is due to opposing signs. That person seemed so mysterious and different, and that is what draws you to the person- like the ‘yin’ and ‘yang’.
After you come into the stabilisation period (6 months or few years into the relationship), you will begin to really get to know one another.
The reality sets in after marriage, with you have additional responsibilities such as joint finance and kids. That is when, the differences where you first find attractive, may work against you. I am not saying that being different is no good- in fact, if both parties are willing to practice mutual understanding, tolerance, and constantly finding ways to love and appreciate one another, the relationship will serve to enrich both person. Ie if you have been an introvert and are married to an extrovert, you may learn to come out of your shell and mix with your spouse’s friends, and find yourself gaining more self confidence. I’ve seen it, marriages of opposite signs working and those seemingly compatible breaking up.
Q: I’ve dated this ___ sign person and he is a total jerk. He cheats on me behind my back. I hate him and the nice things that you’ve described about him is totally untrue.
A: OK, this is the kind of misconception that I would like to clear up:
- one bad apple does not mean the entire basket of apples are rotten. For instance, if you have dated a smoker or a salesman and he is bad, it does not mean that all smokers are bad.
- a person’s character (or total lack off), is not solely determined by his Astrological sign. It is contributed by many other factors- inborn charateristics, upbringing, trigger events in his life, values that have been instilled in the person through family environment, media, school, etc. Two person can react to a situation differently- like a person who is born in poverty can choose to remain in poverty and turn into a gangster or drug pusher. Or he can choose to work parttime, put himself through night classes and come up to get a white collar job, and releasing himself out of poverty.
- each one of us is unique- our DNAs are all different. So, a decription that works for someone may be inaccurate for someone else
- sometimes, we believe what we want to believe
Q: I am dating this person and is now able to understand his issues after reading your description. No doubt, he/she makes me feel unworthy and unhappy at times, I am willing to try to compromise and work on changing myself.
A: This is also another area I am concerned about. First of all, you have to ask yourself if you are stuck in an unhealthy, co-dependant or worst, an abusive relationship. Especially so for abusive relationship- which is not limited to physical abuse but emotional abuse- being with a person who constantly belittle you or make you feel unworthy.
- You need to get out of this type of relationship but if you find yourself being attracted again to the same type of person, you will need to seek professional help to sort out any underlying issues that you may have that triggers your need to be in an unhealthy relationship.
- If you choose to stay back and fight for the relationship to work because you love the person very much, then both of you must agree to work on it and get professional help. Remember, it’s not only you working on it alone.
Q: Yeah, what you mentioned about me is correct. I think I am too flirtatous and I cannot commit to someone- that is why I always leave after a while.
A: What is stopping you from changing? Unless you are completely contented with status-quo.
Q: Do you do personal readings?
A: I regret to inform that I do not perform personal readings. I have received a number of emails on this and I am sorry to inform that I am not the best person to consult for personal reading. I for one, do not study on the moon phrase and the planet alignments- I prefer to focus in understanding a person and then suggesting what is the best way for the person to change. In my daily day job, I work with many people, and I find I am able to establish great relationships with them even though I do not know their signs. Compassion and genuine concern for others are more of a universal language and it can be felt by the heart.
