Actually, it’s quite that there’s a huge difference between what goes on in a man and a woman’s head when the same question is being asked. Same question, different intrepretation.

Received the pictures below from a friend via email. Sounds quite true and it’s a funny way of putting things:

What goes through your mind when someone says

“Let’s go for a drink”?

What happens when you need a wee?

What happens when you meet the opposite sex?

Spending a Saturday night alone at home does not mean that you’re a social pariah- in fact, it could be the highlight of your week.

“Saturday night and you’re not going out?” 

“Well, so what?” I say.

 “It’s Saturday night and nobody’s asked you out!” The taunt is now unmistakable. “I’ve chosen to stay in, “ I correct, grinding the words out.

This conversation is with my telephone. I am quite alone. That of course, is the whole point.

I’m enjoying a Saturday night in. I am your fully equipped, totally dependable, independent woman. I can make choices, take responsibilities for my own decisions, fill in my own tax return, do my own plumbing. So I have taken the responsibility/liberty of deciding to spend a Saturday night at home. 

What’s the big deal about a Saturday night out, anyway? You spend hours- not to mention a small fortune- getting ready. You force your body into something so tight you get indigestion and then stand around in crowded, smoky, noisy, sticky, very hot surroundings. And for whose benefit? Your own? Your boyfriend’s? Your friends? 

Don’t kid yourself! One less person in the circle and would they ever notice?

From my experience, most people on a Saturday night just want to be where other people are. It doesn’t really matter which other people. They feel happy and secure knowing that:

1. they are out,
2. everybody else knows they are out and,
3. that by being out, they are in no danger of missing out.

To them, being out on a Saturday night means, “Hey, look at me, I’ve got friends. I’m a fun person. I’m bright and witty. I know how to have a good time.” So, if you’re not seen out it follows that you’re a boring party pooper whom nobody actually cares enough about to ask out. 

Well, I disagree. 

For a start, you could have been asked out, but- because you’re an independent person- you declined, saying that you were about to repaint the kitchen or read a book. 

And what are you in danger of missing out on? 

“A man,” I hear from the back row. The (Mr Right) man? True, I can’t deny that. But you could just as easily come across him in the street or the supermarket queue. And, because you were assertive and self-assured, you can smile just as brightly and winningly as in the bloodier, sexual battleground of a Saturday night out.

The fear of ‘missing out’ is a negative reason for going out. It’s to avoid being told, “Hey, you missed a terrific night out last Saturday.” Which, translated, probably means you missed seeing Paul, pissed as usual, trying to persuade three girls to take off their clothes and join him for a swim in the public fountain. 

So, you see, that’s why I’m staying in. As it happens, I am fairly tired after a hard but enjoyable week’s work and a couple of late mid-week nights out. And if I stay in, there are a hundred and one things I can choose to do.

I can open a bottle of wine and stretch out on the sofa in my sloppy joe listening to my favourite CDs. I can read a trashy blockbuster; talk to myself; telephone my mum; even find out just what they do show on television on a Saturday night. 

Trouble is, what’s really nagging away behind all this is the fear- a total public humiliation- of everyone knowing that I’m not out. That’s why I keep glancing nervously at the phone. Not so much hoping that it will ring with that last minute invitation, but realizing if I do answer, everyone will know I’m in. 

I tell myself that it’s really all very simple. All I’ve got to do is pick the phone up and, in reply to their gasps of, “What? In on a Saturday night”, cooling reply, “Yes, and I’m loving every minute of it, thank you.” With time and growing confidence, I might even be able to add, “I want to be alone.” After all, it didn’t do Greta Garbo any harm.

The above sounds familiar? Well, it is taken from a song sang by Luther Vandross.

It is not always that the person who sleeps next to us every night is someone that we love. We could actually be in love with someone else….someone who we know we cannot be with. 

However, by nature, most of us would long for something far in the horizon instead of really seeing what is in our hands. Life does not always work out the way we plan- perhaps we have met someone when we were too young, fell in love and got married, only to realize that it is a great mistake. Because 10 years down the line we may fall deeply in love…with someone else. 

First, you need to take a look at the nature of the all consuming love that you are feeling that makes you tempted to give up everything that you have. The ‘idol adoring’ love we feel for someone is actually an illusion. You know, the kind where you put someone in a pedestal and literally worship the ground he/she walks on- because really, no one is perfect. And if you put them in a pedestal, it is also unfair to the person when he/she later cannot live up to your expectations. Because for sure, the person will drop from the pedestal- and sooner or later, bad habits will show.

Both husband and wife may fall out of love with one another because:

• The husband cannot tolerate the nagging of his wife. He stopped listening because after a tired day of work and pressure from the bosses, all he wants to do is to unwind- but the wife wants attention. Because of his position, the pretty young things who wants to climb the corporate ladder were throwing themselves at him…he is tempted to take the bait
• The wife felt she does not get attention and is neglected by her husband- so she nags and bring up issues to get his attention. And he finds her very annoying.

Usually, couples who can last are those that have the ability to communicate with one another. More like great friends- except the physical attraction is thrown in as well. Or sometimes, the physical attraction only develop later- it can be cultivated. They knew one another quite well, accept all the good, warts and all. So long as the husband don’t wish his wife looked and act like Beyonce or Lady Gaga and the wife do not wish the husband looks like Brad Pitt, things look bright and sunny. 

A famous astrologer’s son, who is a friend of mine, told me that there are few people in life we cannot choose:

• Our parents
• Our siblings
• The person whom we marry
• Our children

They believe it is pre-determined. So if we are meant to be with the person, you may say that you have some give-and-take account to settle.

But if you are not meant to be with someone, no matter how you cry till your eyes out, the sun will rise up from the west (instead of east) first before you can be with that person. That’s life- you can grieve for it for a while but sooner or later, you to learn to snap out of it and look at other aspects in your life that is still happening. Time heals all wounds- it may sounds cliché  but it’s true. Shows like Titanic and Nights in Rodanthe (Richard Gere and Diane Lane, 2008) tells such stories- yes I know, the ending’s sad but the lesson’s golden. 

An important thing to bear in mind is if you do not want the things you love to be taken away from you, don’t take away things that others love. Don’t blame it on ‘takdir’ (fate)- in the case of men practicing polygamy and the second wife said, ‘it’s God will.’….and a well known local Muslim male columnist remarked that how can a woman who took another woman’s wife blame God for making it happen? Each one of us always have a choice- it can be a painful and difficult one but it is still a choice nevertheless. If a man can leave his wife for you, he can always leave you for another younger and sexier woman. Look no further- Hollywood will give you tonnes of real life examples.

A man  wrote in to The Sunday Star paper to share his experience about his wife’s betrayal. Most of the time, it is common to hear about adultery being commited by husbands towards their wife. But in the following story, the betrayed one is the husband.

After 30 years of marriage, my spouse left me and our children, saying that her duties as a wife and mother were over. She left when we needed her most. She thought new-found freedom in the outside world would be hers when she left her responsibilities.

Throughout our marriage we seldom fought and almost always had the same ideas and interests. I used to pamper her by serving her coffee in bed, feeding her with my hands, and taking her for holidays abroad. I never failed to kiss her before leaving for work. And I always gave her freedom, trusted her and respected her privacy.

All my dreams were shattered when, a few years ago, she walked out of my bedroom saying that the children were all adults and sex was not important anymore. I was 45 then and she, 40.

She even instigated me by saying that I was free to have sex outside if I thought it was important. From then on she prevented me from being physical with her.

Yet I still loved her, cared for her and took her for holidays. Strangely, she would be angry if I ever spoke to or had anything to do with other women.

I tolerated her behaviour, just for the sake of the family. But one day, I caught her with a man 15 years her junior.

When I confronted them, she openly said she was not interested in me anymore and had decided to leave me for him. She also accused me of having other girls because we had not had sex for years.

The problem was her making but she blamed it on me. Finally, I had to let her go, so as to make her realise her mistakes.

Today she is out there without a home and family; her boyfriend abandoned her when he found out that she was broke.

I’ve lost 30 years of family life but today I am happier because she is not here to interfere in my life. We have being divorced for three years.

I really feel sad for the children but life has to go on. They’re living with me. I feel sad for my ex-wife but I can never take her back because she has hurt me very much.

Sad husband

I think the story is worth mentioning here because seemingly perfect marriages sometimes disintegrate because one party could be living in a lie- in the case above, it could be the wife. Probably in her own way, she had been very unhappy in the marriage and had wanted something more, but was not honest enough to admit to her husband. Her husband may not be the easiest man to live with in the world- but one would owe it to oneself to work out the solution together instead of keeping it bottled up.  She may have hid it well until the day come when she was sure that she could get independance- only to realise in the end that she traded a good life for…. nothing. This would not have been the case if she had been true to herself from the start and seek appropiate counselling or help to understand the discontent in her marriage. It would then would not have gotten out of hand and she eventually end up losing her dignity and self-respect.

There is a case I’ve known of a woman who I doubt if she actually married for love ….or was it for security. Her husband is definitely not an easy person to live with- he acts as if she was beneath him in terms of education and intelligence.  Still, she sort of clung on to him and never fought back on anything- she was always the one who gave in- even long before they were married.  And he, of course, did not mind since his wife was submissive.

Then, a few years into the marriage, through a social activity, she met a guy- whom she instantly have instant chemistry with- they shared very similar interest and just clicked. In a way her self esteem grew and she started having her own voice- and express discontentment with her husband. I lose touch with the couple- I’m not sure if they are still together.

But one thing I’ve learned is that if a person marries for the wrong reasons- because to hold on to a person because of status, wealth, security, etc- meaning it is more out of desperation instead of genuine caring, love and respect…. it is only a matter of time before the marriage disintegrates. It’s sad when the children comes along and become innocent victims, it is also unfair for the unsuspecting spouse who never knew if there was any problem with the marriage. To him, he is who he is- both before and after.  The wife stepped into the marriage with her eyes open.

The published case above served as a good lesson. Today, many people are following the footsteps of celebrities- whereby they can just walk out of a 10, 15 or 25 years of marriage -normally with a third party being involved.

Once, I was travelling in a car with a guy friend- and he was telling me that he had no idea why his wife had refused to forgive him. He said that she had hated him so much that any chance of salvaging their marriage was not possible (they’re divorced and sharing the custody of their child).  He wanted to know what went on in the minds of women- why are we so vindictive?

I asked him this question: “Did you cheat on your wife?” The expression on his face told me all I needed to know. Usually for a woman, she can forgive or learn to overlook a lot of things- even if her husband cheated her of her money or jewelry. Almost anything can be forgiven with time- but betrayal by sleeping with another person- it is a knife that stabs deep into the heart and would forever leave scars behind.

Therefore, for a person who is tempted to have an affair- think of what there is to lose. Is it worth to give it up.

You are dating a guy that you are completely head over heels in love with. But you always felt that you are not worthy because he says or implies that:

• you don’t understand him
• you don’t give in to things that he wants (that is strange, feels wrong, and/or unreasonable)
• you are lucky to have a guy like him- no guys would want you
• it’s your fault that bad things happen to him or that he’s demotivated/cannot change/ etc

So you try your best to pyschoanalyse yourself to find out what’s wrong with you. And some Google search lands you on this site where you are trying to find out that perhaps it is a horoscrope compatibility or something that you did not understand but willing on work on- one sided. As far as you know, he’s not putting any effort while you bend backwards to please him.

Sometimes it’s nothing to do with horoscope, date of birth, etc. If he’s a jerk, he would be despite of whatever his stars say about him.  If you do not want to be sucked in and have it destroy the little shread of confidence that you still have in yourself, perhaps you should just leave the fella.

Let me share with you some true life stories of a girl that I know. Her name has been changed to protect her identity:

Beth is an intelligent and pretty girl brought up in a loving family. She fell in love with a lawyer who is very witty and intelligent as well. In the relationship, he made her constantly question her worthiness. He would be nice to her and then ignore her completely. And he refused to commit to the relationship, implying that it’s her fault and that she was not good enough for him. He’s friendly and charming with other women so he constantly made her feel very insecure.

Essentially, he was playing a lot of manipulative mind games with her. Beth ran from being emotionally high to being down in the dumps- depending on how her boyfriend was treating her. And they had an on-off relationship. All her friends could see that- they’ve tried to advise her for a while, she did not listen. She had fears about being single and alone. So she would rather get stuck with a jerk than to risk being single.

But one day, after one of his draining manipulative games, she told herself it’s enough. She broke up with the guy and cut off all communications with him- do not reply to his emails, phone calls or sms. Because she knew if she was as much to reply, she would go back to him in a heartbeat. One of her strengths is once she has made up her mind to do something, she can be very determined and stick to her guns.

Eventually, Beth met a guy at church. Well, he’s a bit like a shy woodblock but he learned to overcome his shyness and befriended her. After a while, the guy summoned up his courage to confess his love for her (he had been having a crush on her for the longest time but knew she was previously attached to someone). Beth decided to give him a  chance, even though she did not have any feelings for him at first but thought that he is a nice guy.

They dated and eventually, they got married. Today, they already have kids.

When I met Beth, she told me that leaving the first guy was one of the best things she had done. It took courage and willingness to be alone but she was so drained from the mind games that it affects her self worth. Being with her current husband gave her back all the self confidence. He stood by her when her mother passed away and told her to resign from her high pressured job when she was not happy with the job.

He was attentive and loving, in his own ways towards her. He does not sweet coat his words but express his love in his actions rather than just empty promises and sweet talk. Slowly, she had grown to love him. She’s made the right choice and is happy now.

There are other real life examples that I would write about when time permits.

When reading the daily papers, do your eyes stray to the daily horoscope column?  If your star sign stays that you have to stay indoors or stay away from doing presentation, do you follow 100%? Perhaps you are supposed to do a presentation today in front of your managers to get the management buy-in of an idea. What then?

If you allow your life to be ruled by a prediction, your mind will firmly believe that you can’t possibly do the presentation because it is a bad day. And your belief actually is what help made it a fact, not your star sign/ horoscrope/zodiac. There are millions of people sharing the same horoscope with you and thousands with the exact same birthday. You can’t possibly expect the day to turn out similarly for everyone.

 Furthermore, twins (sharing the same birthday) can end up with different character traits and fate. Therefore, don’t let what you read dictate your belief on your fate or the day’s outcome.

Perhaps the best way to avoid having any predisposed beliefs ingrained in your subsconscious is to learn to stay away from the daily horoscope pages.

Here are some of the common questions that I’ve received over the years. Many of you have sent me personal emails. I hope your questions are answered here:

Q: I am currently dating this girl with XX sign and your description fits her perfectly. I am YY sign I was wondering if we are right for one another,
OR
Q: I am XX sign and he is YY sign. Can we be together?
A: It really depends on the both of you. For instance, my friend and her husband were born on the same day and they have been dating since they were 13 years old. Till today, they were very much in love. Both of them are sensitive in nature and get angry easily- they have quarrels and disagreements, but they have mutual understanding. So, it is essentially up to both of you to make it work. Often, when two people enter into a relationship, it involves lots of compromises, but the rewards are worth it to make those sacrificies. However, it takes two hands to clap- if you are involved with someone who has lots of past issues/baggage and refuse to compromise/get help, you may want to reconsider your decision to stick to the person.

Q: I am XX sign and what you have described me perfectly. However, there are things in myself that I do not really like- does it mean that I cannot change?
A: Of course you can. It’s good you have learned to identify the good and bad. Keep the good and aim to change the bad. For instance, if you have a strong jealousy nature and always feel insecured, you may want to work on building your self-confidence. Balance your life by discovering other hobbies outside of your relationship. Or if you have a strong pride and never wanted to admit wounded feelings, see a therapist or take up courses that focuses on open communication. Learn to take baby steps- you will get there.

Q: What you have described fit me perfectly a few years ago. But I am already no longer that person- I’ve learned to change and evolve to be a person that I want to be.
A: Congratulations! This is what I am hoping for. The change is sometimes difficult but it is not impossible. What we are and what we will become are not cast in stone or permanent- we can change it.

Q: I am in total opposite signs/incompatible with the other person but we get along fine and are like best of friends. It’s not like it is strained- it seemeds almost magical.
A: Hmm, correct me if I am wrong but sounds like that you have probably know this person for a short time. Most relationship (friendship or love relationship) starts with strong attraction, which is due to opposing signs. That person seemed so mysterious and different, and that is what draws you to the person- like the ‘yin’ and ‘yang’.
After you come into the stabilisation period (6 months or few years into the relationship), you will begin to really get to know one another.
The reality sets in after marriage, with you have additional responsibilities such as joint finance and kids. That is when, the differences where you first find attractive, may work against you. I am not saying that being different is no good- in fact, if both parties are willing to practice mutual understanding, tolerance, and constantly finding ways to love and appreciate one another, the relationship will serve to enrich both person. Ie if you have been an introvert and are married to an extrovert, you may learn to come out of your shell and mix with your spouse’s friends, and find yourself gaining more self confidence. I’ve seen it, marriages of opposite signs working and those seemingly compatible breaking up.

Q: I’ve dated this ___ sign person and he is a total jerk. He cheats on me behind my back. I hate him and the nice things that you’ve described about him is totally untrue.
A: OK, this is the kind of misconception that I would like to clear up:

• one bad apple does not mean the entire basket of apples are rotten. For instance, if you have dated a smoker or a salesman and he is bad, it does not mean that all smokers are bad.
• a person’s character (or total lack off), is not solely determined by his Astrological sign. It is contributed by many other factors- inborn charateristics, upbringing, trigger events in his life, values that have been instilled in the person through family environment, media, school, etc. Two person can react to a situation differently- like a person who is born in poverty can choose to remain in poverty and turn into a gangster or drug pusher. Or he can choose to work parttime, put himself through night classes and come up to get a white collar job, and releasing himself out of poverty.
• each one of us is unique- our DNAs are all different. So, a decription that works for someone may be inaccurate for someone else
• sometimes, we believe what we want to believe

Q: I am dating this person and is now able to understand his issues after reading your description. No doubt, he/she makes me feel unworthy and unhappy at times, I am willing to try to compromise and work on changing myself.

A: This is also another area I am concerned about. First of all, you have to ask yourself if you are stuck in an unhealthy, co-dependant or worst, an abusive relationship. Especially so for abusive relationship- which is not limited to physical abuse but emotional abuse- being with a person who constantly belittle you or make you feel unworthy.

• You need to get out of this type of relationship but if you find yourself being attracted again to the same type of person, you will need to seek professional help to sort out any underlying issues that you may have that triggers your need to be in an unhealthy relationship.
• If you choose to stay back and fight for the relationship to work because you love the person very much, then both of you must agree to work on it and get professional help. Remember, it’s not only you working on it alone.

Q: Yeah, what you mentioned about me is correct. I think I am too flirtatous and I cannot commit to someone- that is why I always leave after a while.

A: What is stopping you from changing? Unless you are completely contented with status-quo.

Q: Do you do personal readings?

A: I regret to inform that I do not perform personal readings. I have received a number of emails on this and I am sorry to inform that I am not the best person to consult for personal reading. I for one, do not study on the moon phrase and the planet alignments- I prefer to focus in understanding a person and then suggesting what is the best way for the person to change. In my daily day job, I work with many people, and I find I am able to establish great relationships with them even though I do not know their signs. Compassion and genuine concern for others are more of a universal language and it can be felt by the heart.

When she is in love, she will act both ways. First, shy, polite and trembling to be near you. Second, she will attach to you like glue and trying to be with you all the time. She will try to go home with you after work, or have every lunch with you. It is O.K. if you like her too, but if is is not the case, you will feel very uncomfortable. She hates to be talked about or gossiped by someone else. If she knows she will be very hurt.
 
In nature she is a shy type, except she when has been influenced by some other Zodiac. She is not a brave or daring type, so if you like her then you better be the one who start first. She will not accept her true feelings, so if you like here you better tell her first. She is like a musical note always change in tunes, so one minute she can be funny and cheerful, and one minute she can be sad and depressed. Other people may think of her as “Over-acting”, or “Over-reacting”.When she is depressed, she will go out and look for things to make it up.

 
 
She loves money, and thinks of having “Money” as “happy”, not as “God”. She will not look down at you if you do not have a lot of money, but she will help you make money and save money. She is not an extravagant person and sometimes will tell you not to buy her expensive and not useful gifts. She is the type who enjoy a long and quiet walk. Cancer woman also influenced by the “moon”, so under the moon light she will be fascinating woman.She has a constant fear for many things. She fears of not being smart enough, not pretty enough. Even if she is not fat, she will not be satisfied.Assuring her of her looks would help, because she can change her mood 4 times a day. She is not stingy, but you will not surprise if you see she collecting old or broken junks. She feels that everything are useful to her. She will find a way to re-use it again some day. She is not a jealous type, but possessive. The best part about her is that she will sacrifice everything for her loved one with no limit.
She could be moody and argue with you in many little things like most women, but she always wait and want to take care of you. If you argue with her and disappear a few days, she will be waiting for you, but not for long O.K. This kind of test is risky, try not to do it. The Cancer woman need 2 things to be happy which are “Work” and “Love”. She can be live in a dusty house, but she can not live in that same house with no Love.

 

Don’t leave her in times of troubles for she will never forget it. She is not a weak type, even she looks like one. For example if you argue with her, she might cry her heart out. Once you left, she will wipe her tears and start clean up her apartment normally.She is a very careful mother and will look after her kids every step of the way. If she is a mother of your children, you are at ease, but if she is your mother-in-law, you are in pain. Not to worry, this type of mother-in-law will not let her own daughter being an “Old mate”.

CANCER (my own 2 cents)
Endearing/positive qualities:

• romantic;
• will never forget your birthday and anniversaries
• can care and take good care of their loved ones
• creative and a bit mysterious so hard to find the person boring
• Also a good and comforting listener

Qualities that can drive you a bit crazy:

• a bit possessive, gets suspicious easily and does things to “get back at you”/get even when hurt
•  have problem putting the past behind (very hard to forgive and forget 100%)
• a deep seated insecurity that is hard to rid off (but they are extremely well in protecting this). 

Suggested ways to show endearment:

• never never forget his/her birthday (no need to spend lavishly but little steps counts),
• try to be a bit more reassuring and sensitive, if in love relationship don’t make him/her jealous because once you lost that trust it is very difficult to gain back.

Zodiac in which they develop mutual understanding:

• Pisces
• Scorpio

Zodiac in which a bit challenging and need more patience and understanding:

• Capricorn (trust me, got big problems if they failed to sort of their difference),
• Libra 
• Aries.

The most sensitive man and the weakest emotional type in all Zodiac. Most artists are Cancer. Cancer is controlled by the “Moon” and the moon change it’s shape daily, so does the Cancer man’s emotional and moods change all the time too. You will be confused with him and yet it is his constantly changes that “charm” you. He never go out to get what he wants directly, but he will wait for a chance and opportunity to do so. Once he gets what he wants, he will not loose it, except if he get tired of it by himself.

The most sensitive man who can not stand rejection. He cares what other people feel or think of him. He hates loosing face and he tends to over protective of himself, so sometimes people might think he is a cold person. Gifted, creative, imaginative, is Cancer.

Once you know each other too much, he will start to look for new excitement, but not to worry for he will always think of you. If he thinks you are the true love for him, just try to make yourself disappear. You will be sure he will come and look for you. He is a shy guy, but if he likes you. You can get up in the morning and see that he is in front of your house everyday till you go out with him, a very persistent guy. He likes a secure, cheerful and lively woman, confident but at the same time always act proper and appropriate. He likes a secure woman, but able to adjust to his rapid changes. A very difficult type of woman to find indeed.In the beginning, you and him will be so sugary sweet together and he will only think of you.

Mystery and complexity play a major role in a life of a Cancer man. He could be very funny, very quiet, suddenly very sad. Living with him could be very unexpected, for you will not know what is his next mood. If you like excitement and surprise, you have the right guy and never have a chance to get bored. He thinks of his home as “nest” and it is the safest place for him. If he feels hurt or depressed he will stay at home alone quietly. Once he feels better, he will come out of his retreat and lives normally again. He is not a loser.It is so easy to fall in love with this guy because he is gentle and a very polite guy. His wit and creative mind could win your affection. He will come out from his nest to protect you even if he is not opening himself up to other people much.

Not many people will win his heart. His security is only when he has money in his pocket. Once he feels secure then he might think of having a happy family. Even he likes to make and keep money, he is not stingy. Spending money is part of his good image, so he will be happy to spent money to take you out to a very expensive restaurant or buy a jewelry for you. Certainly when he has money, it’s fine. He is possessive to everything that he thinks belong to him. Don’t try to talk to another cute guy in front of him, he will get suspicious because he is not very secure or confident in himself for this kind of competition.

This so “super romantic” will not last forever, so don’t slip this chance. If you are the one who want his interest, then act and make yourself interesting. Be a supportive person and give him compliment sometimes, but not too much till he thinks you are not sincere. Unlike many other Zodiac, if he is mad then you better get out of that room. He will calm down by himself. Giving him a slight touch on his shoulders or concerned facial _expression are enough. He loves his mother, so try to be his mother’s favorite, but do not act like his mother!

CANCER (my own 2 cents)
Endearing/positive qualities:

• romantic;
• will never forget your birthday and anniversaries
• can care and take good care of their loved ones
• creative and a bit mysterious so hard to find the person boring
• Also a good and comforting listener

 Qualities that can drive you a bit crazy:

• a bit possessive, gets suspicious easily and does things to “get back at you”/get even when hurt
•  have problem putting the past behind (very hard to forgive and forget 100%)
• a deep seated insecurity that is hard to rid off (but they are extremely well in protecting this). 

Suggested ways to show endearment:

• never never forget his/her birthday (no need to spend lavishly but little steps counts),
• try to be a bit more reassuring and sensitive, if in love relationship don’t make him/her jealous because once you lost that trust it is very difficult to gain back.

Zodiac in which they develop mutual understanding:

• Pisces
• Scorpio

 Zodiac in which a bit challenging and need more patience and understanding:

• Capricorn (trust me, got big problems if they failed to sort of their difference),
• Libra 
• Aries.